arianne—martell: Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
northlan-e: its gotten to the point where i either feel no emotion or every emotion at once
michaxl: oomshi: *asks ouija board what’s for dinner* *finger slides to the d*
fuckingrapeculture: psdo: ironelk: Today my art history professor gave some words of wisdom: Nude is when your clothes are off. Naked is when your clothes are off and you’re up to something A+ mind blown
pizza: dorascousin: dorascousin: if tumblr user pizza doesn’t show up in 30 minutes or less do I get her for free? drum roll please yes u do get me for free sorry i’m late
eiwobdivad: the-fandoms-are-cool: how I discovered I was pansexual shit that guy’s hot oh fuck that girl’s hot too wait what trans people are hot as well damn sweet jesus I’m not sure what gender you are but you’re very hot is there a term for this condition Yep.
actionfighter: no phone don’t autocorrect my i’s to capitals i need to look cool & casual for the internet
i-am-fangirl-hear-me-squeal: shavingryansprivates: striderstesticle: shavingryansprivates: crying is manly as shit crying was originally seen as a masculine thing. if you were a roman centurion or something and you didn’t cry when one of your fellow soldiers died, you were seen as an insensitive pussy. told u
thedramaticsneeze: hoshigumayuugi: i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex.
sekretlyserket: theboywhofangirled: SCREW SHAVING DRY THAT WAS THE BEST SHAVE I’VE EVER HAD I’M STOCKING UP ON FIVE THOUSAND CANS OF BARBASOL AND HAVING A CELEBRATORY BONFIRE WHAT COULD GO WRONG
pontmercyanide: some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me. and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.” she meant henry david thoreau. i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend
nicolasiscaged: WHEN FRIENDS DESCRIBE YOU DO THEY USE WORDS LIKE DULL? OR DRAB? don’t forget platitudinous!
aquus: before you have sex with me you have to earn it take these two potatoes and this goat and bring them to the river valley where you will meet an old gypsy named madam zeroni. carry madam zeroni back up the mountain on your back and allow her to drink from the stream while you sing for her. she will give you a necklace of beads. return them to me to complete the quest.
Can we take a moment to appreciate the Owl City...
bmoburns: oomshi: soup that tastes great is souper may i interest you in a bowl of canned u not